Angel Tears
I hate the rain. It’s almost always some type of omen for something terrible, dreadful… unforeseeable… That’s why I knew things weren’t good the moment these warm droplets began to fall from the sky. When I looked up into the vastness of night as saw nothing but storm clouds looming overhead, it felt as if I were being called here. Perhaps I owe it to that girl for being the one to call me of all people. Not out of trust, but instead obligation.
“She’s normally never like this, and as much as I’d like her to talk to me… I know that’s not going to happen. Don’t get me wrong. Love is love, but some things are just impossible for her to admit. I think you can draw those things out of her if you try.”
Responsibility really is a pain. Why’d I even agree to do this? I should have said no and just went back to the forge, let them settle this themselves… no, I know I’m not like that. Or maybe I was and things have simply changed. My blazing rage flickering like an ember amidst the black. That’s right. I don’t need any encouragement or a push for this. If it’s something I can do then I want to do it. Not out of hate… but because I care.
When he had heard about a request for his business being rented out he didn’t pay it much thought. Al he knew was that the money was good and it wasn’t something he planned to refuse. Now that he was there himself he was having second thoughts. A crowd formed around the building, people both human and claimant alike attempting the gain entry. Faces he’d never seen before, faces he didn’t much care for especially now, but some things always remained the same.
This time around it wasn’t intimidation, his normal tactic. The bustling crowd calmed instinctively as if by force of nature. His steps, normally as silent as the calm breeze, echoed aloud as if to announce the lack of his cares for anonymity. They weren’t on his mind, but he was on theirs. Each footfall evaporating the water beneath his soles, eyes like blue diamonds, the only stars out at night. But he still had a single obstacle to pass. Her arms outstretched as if to say even he was not welcome in his own place of business.
“What are you doing here?” He knew Lizbett hated him. One of the many people who believed he didn’t care about anything, but human nonetheless.
“You know exactly why I’m here. I’m not going to argue with you.”
“Good. Then turn around and go.”
A part of him was agitated, but he couldn’t display it. Something about seeing this human woman standing out in the rain with no protection only served to make him feel… pity? No. It wasn’t so callous. That was why, after looking at her soaked clothing as if she had jumped out of bed and thrown on the first things she saw just to get here, he placed the umbrella he had been carrying in her hands and wrapped his arms around her for only just a moment.
“I appreciate what you’re doing, but all I need you to do now is wait. I’ll take care of this now.”
She watched as he moved past her and entered the building, too distracted to even realize her clothes were entirely dry again. A part of her was confused, but happy all the same. She had heard many things about him. That he was violent, absurdly powerful and egregiously merciless. The reason itself was unclear to her, but she couldn’t help but let the pent up worry do her in. His presence was a relief. His confidence a blessing. And perhaps he would be capable of doing for her what she could not… even as her closest friend.
The windows had been covered to keep the eyes of the unwelcome from peering inside, but the moment he entered the building he could tell something was wrong. Familiar keys crafting a tune in the air, her voice saying no words but forming a sincere melody, the lights dimmed to a low file hue which was the darkest light he owned in the building… but his eyes could see through it too clearly. The dark was nothing to him, but her song was currently everything. The grand piano he’d ordered for her, custom made to her liking for this building as if to welcome her anytime she desired, making such a sad sound with her at its center. He knew she could sing, proclaimed to have the voice of an angel when not yelling at others, but were angel’s meant to sound so defeated or have their wings hang so low?
He moved forward quietly, as if wanting to hear her song for a bit longer, but each moment hurt more than the last. Pain was a foreign concept for him, but this was enough to cause it. She moved with such passion, ghostly fingers walking along the keys in a way only a practiced master could accomplish. A deep purple dress just as damp as her hair; a tell she had been here for a while after making her way through the rain. The expression on her face barely visible behind the curtain of black hair which attempted to hide it, but her eyes like midnight sapphires did not lie. Nor did the redness around them.
How often has this happened without my knowledge? How long has this being going on? No, it doesn’t matter right now. What matters is the present.
And so… he called out to her.
“Hey. I didn’t think you made music like this, Gabi.”
Her eyes twitched, but did not turn to him. Her fingers halting before falling to her lap. Her head tilted downward ever so slightly before she formed her own response. “Hey, Hellfire.”
“C’mon now, I ain’t that strict. It’s just the two of us here anyway. Relax a little. You don’t need to put up your guard.”
“Sure, Uncle Mia.” He’d kill anyone else who called him that.
“Alright then, let’s get straight to the point,” he said as he approached her and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Gahbriogyva. Talk to me about it. I’m willing to listen.”
“You don’t need to waste your time. There’s no point.”
“I’m not wasting my time. You can take as long as you like, but I need you to talk to me. Otherwise I can’t help you.”
She looked as if she were entirely reluctant to speak. Perhaps this was the punishment for being who he is and not making the effort to keep their connection strong. Then again, his opportunities were always rare. Everyone though of her as abrasive and crass, but Hellfire was different. Maybe it was because he knew her mother well, but a part of him always knew Gabi was the same as Cyva in a fundamental way. His assumptions were justified the moment he saw her tears falling onto the ivory.
They’re both such crybabies. But I suppose that’s what makes me care so much…
“Uncle… I’m such a stupid girl. I often think that maybe I’ve been doing all of this for nothing, and I just want to disappear. What should I do if everything was for nothing?”
“I don’t understand. You’ll need to explain it to me, kid. What’s causing this?”
She tilted her head upward, eyes looking into the dark roof where small lights attempted to illuminate a dark they could not breach. Like countless stars twinkling in the night. It was even easier to see her expression now, and it made his chest ache.
“Ever since I was little, I wanted to be like dad. Not an aikekunai, but strong enough for him to see me as an equal… or maybe not even that. I just wanted to be someone he could rely on. I thought if I could do that it would truly make me his daughter and gain me the acknowledgement which came with it.”
“I see. I can understand that type of desire.”
“Yes… but I was wrong… he suddenly became such a huge advocate for peace. I don’t mind peace, I can understand the allure of a peaceful world without war because I’ve seen what the opposite of peace looks like.” He could feel a slight shiver through her body with that comment. “I just… didn’t think it’d turn out like this.”
“What do you mean? He still trained you, right? You fight almost exactly like him in many ways from what I can tell. Not to mention how powerful you’ve become.”
“No. He didn’t. He stopped before we even got anywhere. I learned from mother before that, then when dad stopped teaching me I turned to grandma. Then Uncle Nier taught me some things, and I had been learning from Uncle Eric throughout the entire process. But by that time I was already fed up. I was angry, unreasonably so. When he told me he wouldn’t teach me anymore I stormed out of our home and never went back until I felt I’d be acknowledged.”
“You know there are a number of people you know who understand just how much power you command. Why is this so important to you?”
“You know… I asked myself the same thing once.” Her head finally lowered, but turned in his direction with a cheap smile. It was faked, but too believable. Almost like it had been used millions of times in the past. “Like I said, I’m stupid. Even after all these years I’m still the same little girl I was back then who fawned over her father’s attention. I’ve always been a dummy, that’s why I’ve always had to work hard to make up for it.”
“What exactly are you aiming for? Why not just talk to him about this?”
“Talking won’t solve anything.” Her head returned to its original position. “If I talk to them about it, they’ll just give me what I want. Lie to my face without knowing anything. That isn’t genuine. That isn't meaningful.”
“And what would you call genuine?”
She paused for a moment. A silence which made his ears tingle and his breathing hesitate. “I hate Stasia, and I hate Verin. I hate them because they have what I want. That unconditional trust. That trust which allows them to fight at his side because he wants them there. A trust they didn’t even earn… a trust earned for them by their past lives.”
“That’s how aikekunai work. Their lives are merely an extension of themselves. Though different they may be, they still have the same expectations.”
“But it’s not fair.” He could see her eyes narrow, her brow attempting to furrow as if to dispel the blue hues of her eyes, but it failed. “The pain, the suffering, the hardships I endured just for this power… it’s not fair that it means nothing compared to them. It’s not fair that he isn’t even willing to see it! Even when I attempted to show him, he refused me. My own father, an icon among claimants for his own strength, refusing to even see my own.”
“I doubt he wants you to be a warrior like he is. If I know him as well as I believe I do, the man hates that he was raised to be a warrior deep down and is only using it as a means to an end. Ever the advocate for peace, but only knows how to fight. The irony is jarring.”
“…I don’t mind being peaceful.” The very words were a shock to him. But watching as she raised her hand and placed it on the piano, almost as if petting a companion, made things clearer. “You know, after I tried to show him my own power and he denied it… I decided to take a different approach. I settled. I’d be acknowledged in a different way. So I taught myself to play the piano and the guitar. I taught myself to act. I taught myself to sing. I chose to become a name everyone had on their mind.”
“Wait, you taught yourself all of that on your own? Hell, I knew you were talented, but I thought you’d at least get a teacher or tutor.”
“I had made up my mind. I wouldn’t rely on anyone else for power of any type ever again. So, I moved to gain fame and wealth. Then, after I gained it all, I went back expecting to finally get what I’d wanted. What I’d needed!”
“…I assume that’s not what you got.”
“No… it wasn’t… he was angry. He doesn’t listen to music, so I knew he’d never hear a single song. He said that I’d made myself a target for others and that I should have remained anonymous for my own safety… that’s when I started to get it. He’d never acknowledge me because he didn’t want me to be anymore than some standard child who needs to be protected. A delicate doll.”
“What makes you think that?”
The question was stupid, but he had to be sure. It’s not that he didn’t already know the answer. She called herself dumb, but she clearly knew how to get what she wanted when she wanted it, so the information would have found its way to her feet eventually. That’s why it didn’t surprise him at all when she spoke the secret which had been kept from her on purpose. A secret he distinctly remembered even Evyette saying not to tell her.
“Stasia.” The very name was lined with venom from her tongue. “When I find out about what happened with the Program, at first I was shocked. Worried, even. But then it started making sense… why he started getting so overprotective, why it felt like he didn’t want me to do anything but hide and be unknown. Why he’d never acknowledge me for being strong like him.”
“Because he never expects to have you fight.” He could see her lips press together. Her teeth clench as if to hold it all back.
“My entire life has been nothing more than trials and tribulations I personally chose to subject myself to, all for the sake of having him acknowledge those efforts! I’ve pushed myself to my very limits and even further, faced my fears even when my body and mind refused, even killed the undeserving and the unwilling! Stained my hands with blood I’ll never be able to wash off or forget! Even now I still look at my hands and see the countless faces of everyone that I—”
Hellfire caught her quickly. She attempted to stand in a fit of anger, but merely recounting her own memories was enough to nearly make her vomit. He thought she’d have lifted herself back to her feet, but instead she remained on her knees as she removed her hand from over her own mouth. Beads of sweat rolling down her head, and all he could do was rub her back as a form of comfort.
She’s not my kid or anything. It’s not like this is my responsibility. Shit, this sucks. Why am I even doing this?
“Everything… it was all for nothing.” The question answered itself. Not even he could ignore her when the tears started pouring down her face after she spoke those words. He’d seen many expressions on her face, images saved in his memory from her smiles as a child to her anger as an adult… but not once had he seen her cry like this. Forget being like Cyva. She was entirely worse when it came to handling tears.
He lowered himself, one of his knees resting on the floor as his arms wrapped around her shoulders. There wasn’t a single sign in his life which made him believe he’d ever be doing something like this, but now he felt as if he had to. Pulling her head to his chest and placing his hand on her freshly damp hair, but a single deep breath and he’d make certain she was dried. He could recall Kikana doing this exact same thing for him when he was still a child, the gentle petting of a hand on the head. Albeit his hand was gloved. But he knew just how effective it was.
“I’m sorry, Gabi. It may not be worth much, but let me speak for a moment. All you need to do now is listen… I know you have power. I know you have talent. Gahbreal may not say it now, but I know he’ll say it in the future. He won’t have a choice when he sees what you can do. But for now, you’ll have to settle with this.”
Why am I doing this? Why am I saying this? I don’t know the future and my brother may never give this girl what she wants. He's typically always been that stubborn and it would make me into a liar if he did the expected… but still, I can at least say this.
“Gahbriogyva.” Her eyes turned up to look at him. Her expression still somewhat worn out. “I have never acknowledged a single person in my entire life. No one is worthy, everyone lacks the power and the drives to reach beyond themselves and become something greater… but, I acknowledge you.”
“What?”
“I surpassed your father in the realm of power decades ago. You’ve lived to be acknowledged by him, I’ve lived to surpass him for my own reasons. So don’t worry. You’re not lacking; I can tell. He’s simply being stubborn.”
She dropped her face back down, hiding it away from his view as if struck with embarrassment and yet he knew she was just crying more. “But I’m impatient. I don’t know if I can wait that long… I’d already made up my mind. That I’d reach a position he can’t refuse to acknowledge. That I’d become an ancient.”
“You want to usurp Xainayne?”
“No. I’ll become my own ancient. An ancient for the abandoned, an ancient for the misunderstood and forgotten. An ancient of blood against anyone who’d reject those who come to me. An ancient of violence, but also an ancient of peace. The most powerful ancient to ever exist so no one can deny me. That's what I'll become.”
“You think that will be enough?”
“I have hope that it will be. If not… I may just lose my mind.” It sounded like a joke, but he could tell it wasn’t. “What I desire, what I want, what I need. If he won’t give it to me I know I’ll eventually try to start taking it from those he’s chosen to give it to. Even if I try to resist that urge, I know I can't do it forever. That's how I've survived for this long. A part of me hates him so much it makes me sick... but there's still a part of me which loves my dad more than anyone else. a part of me which views him as my everything.”
He frowned hearing that she’d be willing to go to such lengths. For his brother he cared nothing about, she was prepared to make countless enemies and she did not specify who would have to go. Anyone with her father’s respect… and Hellfire knew that list included ancients. In a lot of ways Gabi was the very embodiment of their family’s ideals. In other ways she was the exact type of claimant they feared. A kind heart in the shell of a dominator. He wouldn’t call her misunderstood. That would cheapen her resolve. She was simply playing the game with the poor hand dealt to her, and he had his response.
“If you’re prepared to make that choice, then I will make my choice now as well.” He declared as he stood tall and unwavering. “When that time comes, if that time comes, call on me. If you desire to be an ancient that fights the very world itself… then I, Jerimyha Rhihon, will be your champion... I will always be on your side.”
Several hours had passed by, the rain weakening to a soft drizzle on the city streets. Lizbett was entirely disgusted with how much time these people had on their hands to still be out here trying to catch a glimpse or take a photo of Gabi. Paparazzi made her stomach turn, and yet her undivided attention was pulled back to the door as it was pulled open from the inside. First Hellfire stepped out, then Gabi right behind him. She looked exhausted, as if her energy were completely drained, but her expression looked far better than when she had arrived.
“Gabi!” She rushed over quickly and held the umbrella over her head. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, Lizbett.”
“Really?”
“Really, I am. Let’s go home. I need a fucking bath. This city sucks.”
Hellfire smiled as the two began walking to the car parked on the opposite side of the road. It wasn’t anything special, most likely Lizbett’s own personal vehicle, but it would be enough. All was well… or at least until a flash from the crowd accosted Hellfire’s attention. Maybe it was instinctual, or perhaps it was because she knew enough about him to consider it, but what would normally be standard journalism nosiness had quickly become an alarm bell in her head. Turning to see her uncle staring the culprit down with enough malice to draw everyone’s attention.
Fear. True terror. Real horror. Even she felt it looking at him. He was no wolf like her father, he couldn’t even be called a monster. Just as he had never seen the vulnerabilities in her character until today, neither had she seen the purified rage he held onto like a child coddling their favorite pillow as they slept. The blue in his eyes from before only a memory, replaced with a red that could sear the sun, a single step in the photographer’s direction was enough to clear the air of all rain and replace it with a heat that could not be faked. It made her shiver, but it didn’t stop her from moving forward.
“Disrespectful swine! I’ll wear your skin as a—”
“Uncle!” Her words were enough, but her hand wrapping around his wrist to stop him was more than enough. “It’s fine. Just let them do as they please. you don't need to get mad on my behalf.”
“Alright, alright... If you say so.”
“Thank you. I’ll get in touch with you later… I love you, Uncle Mia.”
She smiled and his eyes widened. Compared to before? This was genuine. Had he managed to, in this moment, at least cheer her up? Before it had been unclear, but now the question was on his mind as the heat dissipated and the drizzle began to fall again. He watched as she returned to Lizbett, waving before entering the car. He wasn’t used to it at all, but he chose to wave back and did not stop until they were far enough down the road for him to feel at ease. his belief was that she’d be okay. for now that was all which mattered. However, there was a single loose end which needed handling.
“I ain’t nearly as kind as she is. That girl… my niece. If I find even a damned shred of this night open to the public, I’ll find who did it. There won’t be a pain imaginable for you to expect. Call it benevolence or call it a curse, either way you’ll wish death could be far easier."
…
….
…..
“You rushed off in such a hurry, I was wondering if you’d be gone all night,” Evyette said as she pulled him across the room. “I take it everything went well then?”
“I’d like to hope so. Although I can’t be certain… things may only just be beginning for her.”
“I haven’t heard you talk like that in a while. Uncertainty doesn’t suit you.”
The ancient watched as he removed his shirt and shoes. Even his gloves were removed and placed off to the side. Expectations were the same, even if it had been a long time since he required the release of strain and stress. The only difference was the cause, and that was why she did not intervene at the start, only watching as he clenched his fists and black flames began to pour from every single pore in his body. A normal ritual for himself, the release of flames which heightened his sensitivity to rage. A quick release so that it would not overflow on its own later. A means to enact self control.
The way fire cascaded from his very soul, something about it was always alluring to a degree she could not describe. His fire always looked like darkness. The way it concealed everything within it including himself, how the cold became heat fueled by his rage, and even the way his eyes like two red suns were visible through it. It was hard to resist, and so she approached as she always did. Stepping into the violent twister of overflowing flames to place her hands on his chest. His heart thrumbled like a war drum, his own heat like a boon to her own. Like this the ancient could face his feeling head on and share in them alongside him. Even if it was only slightly compared to himself, she would feel that rage and understand him more for it.
“You know you can always just talk it out. Right?”
“I know,” he responded as the fire immediately faded to nothing in the air around them. “This is just faster, and you still understand it anyway.”
“It tingles the skin and scratches at the mind. That rage of yours seems to keep getting worse.”
“Not without reason, but tonight posed a bit more of a challenge than I anticipated. Maybe I’ve grown soft, or maybe this is how I’ve always been.”
“Don’t make it sound so bad. You’ve always been a good person, Mia. You were just dealt a poor hand. That and you’re terrible at showing it.”
“Ha ha. I’ll remember that next time you ask me for something.”
“You say that like you’ll refuse if I do.”
“Maybe you know me a bit too well.” He laughed before his expression curled into a frown. Hellfire noticed the way the ancient seemed to shiver slightly. He knew he’d have to say something, and he knew it couldn’t wait. His eyes steadily returned to blue, and he returned to the bed where Evyette joined him sitting on the edge. He had made a choice and he planned to share it with the one he loved.. even if he knew it wouldn't make them happy.
“What’s on your mind, Mia?”
“My niece is truly something else. I think if I didn’t go out tonight, I may have missed something important. Something I’d regret for all eternity.”
“It was that bad?”
“Evyette, I’ll apologize now in advance.” The words brought with them caution from the ancient, but also worry. “My love isn’t something easily gained, but you have it. That is why I’ll tell you now what I won’t tell any others… my niece believes she’s being selfish to want after her father’s adoration, but he doesn’t approve of her methods. She wants strength, he wants his kid to be safe.”
“Seriously? Well, she almost sounds like a younger you but without the lack of care. But she has a lot of fans as far as I know.”
“I know, but those people don't matter. They simply aren't her father... Gabi is kinder than anyone gives her credit, although I’m certain she’s too angry to show that. I don’t know who wouldn’t be after a lifetime of rejection from the one person that matters to her most.”
“You almost sound jealous. So? What will you do?”
“I’ll do all I know how to do. That’s why I’m apologizing now… for her sake I’ll leave him be. I won't forgive him, but I also won't keep him as my enemy. However, if my brother fails to give that girl what she desires of his own volition before something happens to her, I don’t mind making an enemy of every single living thing. Anyone who tries to stops me from ending that man won’t survive, and I don’t care who it is.”
“Is that what you’ve decided? And I can only assume that this is the product of your rage.”
“No, it’s not.” His quick response made her brow rise. The ancient didn’t know anyone outside of herself that wasn’t subject to his rage. It guided most of his decisions, at times pulled him by the nose, unrelenting and uncompromising. But she couldn’t help but feel somewhat at ease when he said his answer. “Today I saw my niece crying. I saw that little girl despair, and it properly hurt to see it... I chose to do this because I love my niece. That’s all there is to it.”
Evyette smiled. Her expression softened as her head leaned against his shoulder. Normally this wouldn't be a huge deal, and it made her wonder what exactly he and Gabi spoke about, but for him it certainly was a large step forward regardless.
"You may choose to deny it, but I always knew it was true. You really are kind, Mia."